By Rabbi Ari Enkin, Rabbinic Director, United with Israel

Some authorities in the orthodox rabbinate have devised a prenuptial agreement of sorts that combines Jewish and secular law in a way that prevents vengeful husbands from refusing to issue a legal divorce.

While marriage is intended to be a once-in-a-lifetime arrangement, unfortunately it isn’t always the case. Just as there are stringent requirements on how to formalize a marriage within Jewish law, there are also very exact ways of dissolving one. The objective is to ensure that a woman receives the divorce document from her husband, known as a get. The get is vital, as without it, a woman is forbidden to remarry.

Sometimes, though, a husband will postpone or otherwise withhold this document from his wife for a variety of motives, thereby imprisoning her in a non-existent marriage. A complicated question emerging from such behavior is whether or not it is permissible to compel a husband into issuing his wife the get. Sometimes the answer is yes, and even with the use of force, as will be discussed below.

The Mishna (legal commentary on the Torah) teaches us that several types of husbands are obligated to divorce their wives, and that the divorce may even be forced upon them. Among these categories are: one with bad skin afflictions, one with bad breath, and one who gathers manure for a living. A woman whose husband falls into one of these categories is entitled to divorce him at her leisure.

There is, however, another category of husbands for which there is no clear consensus as to whether a divorce may be forcefully imposed. Rabbinical authorities are divided over whether the beit din (religious court) can impose a divorce on a severely strained marriage. On the one hand, there is the Rambam (Maimonides), who maintains that a man can be forced into divorcing his wife if she so desires for absolutely any reason. Other authorities are a lot more hesitant to allow women this dispensation of forced or coerced divorces for fear of ulterior, unbecoming motives. Normative Jewish law is in accordance with this latter view.

Imposing a Divorce?

An additional dimension allows for imposing a divorce on a rebellious husband, such as one who refuses to support or cohabit with his wife. Modern-day authorities permit forcing such husbands to issue a divorce. The remaining and forever unsolvable issue is determining who is a “rebellious” husband, other than the example just cited. Does it include an adulterous husband? A thief? What about a husband who abandons Judaism?

To properly appreciate why rabbis are so hesitant to exercise their authority to impose a divorce, it is vital to understand that a woman who remarries after receiving a get that is invalid for any reason is deemed an adulteress, although that is certainly not her intention. Furthermore, any children born after an invalid divorce would be considered mamzerim (illegitimate children), a status that is permanent and irrevocable and that strongly affects the child’s future marriage prospects and the status of his or her own future children as well.

The emotional and psychological turmoil for women in this situation is unimaginable. The evil that such uncooperative husbands exhibit is indescribable. Sadly, there is no consensus on how these cases can be solved. In light of this, there are authorities in the orthodox rabbinate who have devised a prenuptial agreement of sorts, which combines Jewish and secular law in a way that simply precludes such horrible situations from ever arising. Young couples would be well advised to research this option prior to walking to their wedding canopy.

Below are links to more articles by Rabbi Ari Enkin on marriage and family relationships:

https://unitedwithisrael.org/marriage-is-another-matter/

https://unitedwithisrael.org/living-torah-appreciating-your-spouse/

https://unitedwithisrael.org/living-torah-dating-love-and-marriage-a-rabbis-secrets/

https://unitedwithisrael.org/what-men-and-women-really-want/

https://unitedwithisrael.org/adoptive-and-biological-parenting-are-equal-in-merit/

Send Passover Packages to Needy Israeli Soldiers - Bring Them Joy!

We are honored to thank the young men and women of the IDF who risk their lives every day to protect the citizens of Israel. Since October 7th, soldiers have been on the battlefield for months - many are hoping to come home for Passover.

Join us in sending Passover food packages (and personal notes) to Israeli soldiers and their families.

Many soldiers spend the Passover holiday with needy families back home. The soldiers greatly appreciate your love and concern. Bring them Passover joy!

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