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By Rabbi Ari Enkin, Rabbinic Director, United with Israel
The matriarch Rebecca, wife of Isaac, may have been the only biblical figure to find her spouse by means of a matchmaker.
Rebecca, one of the Four Matriarchs of the Jewish People, is characterized by the rabbis as a prophet and a righteous woman. She was the wife of Isaac, the daughter of Bethuel and the sister of Laban – the latter two being known as exceptionally evil individuals. Indeed, although her family and those among whom she lived were deceitful, she was not adversely influenced by her surroundings; she was the classic “lily among thorns.”
Rebecca may have been the only biblical figure to find her spouse, Isaac, by means of a matchmaker. (See Fiddler on the Roof for more on Jewish matchmakers…) All others found their spouses on their own. After the Binding of Isaac, Sara, Abraham’s wife, died. After taking care of her burial, Abraham commanded his servant, Eliezer, to journey to his birthplace of Aram Naharaim to find a compatible wife for Isaac. Abraham sent along expensive jewelry, clothing and delicacies as gifts to the bride and her family.
Eliezer devised a test – almost forcing God’s hand — in order to find the right wife for Isaac. As he stood at the central well in Aram Naharaim with his men and 10 camels laden with goods, he prayed to God:
“Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say, ‘Please tip over your jug so that I may drink’ and replies, ‘Drink, and I will even water your camels,’ her will You have designated for Your servant, for Isaac” (Genesis 24:14).
As soon as he finished his prayer, a young girl came by and offered to draw water for him to drink as well as to fill the troughs for all his camels! His prayers were fulfilled right before his eyes…instantly! Rebecca continued to draw water until all the camels were satiated, proving that she was kind, generous and suitable to enter Abraham’s household.
Rebecca and Eliezer by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo, 17th century. (Wikipedia)
As Rebecca headed back with Eliezer to meet her soon-to-be husband and his family, they spotted Isaac from a distance praying in the fields. When Rebecca learned that this sight of spirituality was in fact Isaac, her future husband, she modestly covered herself with a veil. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, married her and loved her. We are told that just as was the case with Sara, three miracles occurred for Rebecca in her tent: Her Shabbat candles lasted all week long, there was blessing in the dough, and a Divine cloud hovered over her tent.
Many of the customs and rituals practiced at a Jewish wedding derive from the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca. For example, we learn from here that a woman must give her consent to marriage (“Let us ask the girl…”), the bride is to be veiled just prior to the ceremony, the blessing given to a Jewish bride at her wedding is the same one that Rebecca’s family gave to her (“Our sister, may you come to be thousands of myriads, and may your offspring inherit the gate of its foes”), and a celebratory wedding feast is to be served.
Dating Rebecca’s age is somewhat of a challenge. There are two opinions in the Talmud as to how old Rebecca was at the time of her marriage. According to one opinion, she was only three years old. According to a more palatable approach, she was 12 or 14. It took 20 years until Rebecca conceived and gave birth to twins.
So too, Rebecca’s death is not mentioned in the Torah, nor does it specify how many years she lived. There is a tradition that she lived until the age of 133. She was buried in the Machpela Cave in Hebron alongside most of the other Matriarchs and Patriarchs.
Be sure to visit her tomb in Hebron on your next visit to Israel!
This is the second in a series by Rabbi Ari Enkin on Women of the Bible. For the first, click HERE
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