After living in Israel for almost a year, I am excited to share my experiences as a newcomer to Israeli society and present a lighter side to life here, where citizens are fighting an existential war. Note: This is not an academic essay. It is, rather, an introduction to this wonderful and unique country.
Language
Modern Hebrew differs from biblical Hebrew. Yet many words today, no matter what the rules and grammar say, remain the same.
Popular Hebrew Expressions:
Motek sheli, Chaim sheli – “My sweetheart, my life.” Kind words like these – you can say them to anyone: Family, friends, strangers. It’s an Israeli thing
Kilo – not kilogram, but kilo, means “like”: Ze haya kilo kef – “It was, like, fun!”
Chaval al hazman – “The best.” He cooks chaval al hazman (the best of the best). Literally, however, it means “waste of time.” It’s an Israeli thing.
Stam – this is hard to explain. It can mean “just like that.” “We can sit at the beach and stam talk.” It can mean other things too. You would have to melt into Israeli society to really get it.
Chole/chola al: Literally, “I am sick of” – but here it actually means: “I am crazy about …” It might sound strange, but once you’re in it – you’ll get it! It’s an Israeli thing.
B’seder, b’seder – “Okay, okay.” This magic word is one of my favorites, but beware: If you ask an Israeli for something and they answer with that magical word – it means he/she will probably not do it. Not because he/she does not want to help; rather, they think it is too simple or obvious. So what should you do? Push on it! Raise your voice! For example: Remind the driver to tell you where your stop is. If you do not, he will simply forget – although he had assured you that it’s all b’seder. It’s an Israeli thing.
(Curse words – sorry! Not here! But most are of Arabic or Russian origin).
Culture
Muzika mizrahit – Middle Eastern music. I love it! The Israeli style is unique, with some Greek influence. It ranges from calm to exciting.
Israeli weddings: The main thing is not necessarily the newlyweds, but the food! You will be offered anything imaginable – meat, fish, rice, potatoes, couscous, delicious salad. But that’s only the beginning, like a tease. Once the ceremony begins and everyone has wished the new couple a hearty Mazal Tov, more food is served – this time at the table. During the feast, while dancing and getting to know the people sitting next to you, more food is offered! It’s an Israeli thing.
Another fact to remember. Before entering, Israelis give money – not presents – to the bride and groom. Envelopes are available near the entrance, where you can write your congratulations and insert the money. It’s an Israeli thing
Hummus – a chickpea dish. Hummus ful (elaborate mixture), hummus mizrahi (Middle Eastern), hummus im pitriot (with mushrooms), hummus ragil (plain), hummus hummus hummus – It’s an Israeli thing!
More about food: When you’re invited to someone’s home – you will not leave hungry. Israelis love to eat. Sometimes they even give you food to take home.
Restaurants – you will not walk away hungry. Just ask the waiter to put the leftovers in a box for later!
Etiquette
At the store (not the grocery store or a kiosk), the salesperson will ask if you need help. They don’t take no for an answer, so be firm.
Israelis will ask where you’re from, but it’s not enough to say that you live here. “No, no, no. Are you Russian or Morrocan?” Azhkenazi or a Sephardi?” People are curious. It’s an Israeli thing.
On the bus, you may sit at the front and have a conversation with the driver, but talking on the phone near the driver is absolutely not allowed! It’s an Israeli thing.
The shuk – market. It’s always lively there! The salesperson screams out what’s new: products, the latest news…. It is not boring.
Bureaucracy
Documents – make sure that the employees list everything you should bring. Otherwise, they’ll tell you to come back again to bring something that they neglected to mention. It might be a good idea to check with others about what you’ll need. It’s better than standing in the long queue for nothing.
Another tip: When dealing with government forms and the like, do not expect to complete your mission in one appointment. That way, if you do, it will be a pleasant surprise!
And yes, it’s an Israeli thing.
The Men
The men will pay the bill at the restaurant.
Girls, if you don’t tell the Israeli guy in a loud tone to go way, he will not understand.
The way to a man’s heart, especially an Israeli man, is through his stomach.
An Israeli man is the best man you can have – my opinion (smiling)!
Memorial Day
Everybody stands still and all the vehicles stop moving as the siren is heard. Honoring the memory of the war victims is sacred. It’s wonderful and heartwarming…. and it’s exclusively an Israeli thing.
And of course: Yom Ha’atzmaut – Israeli Independence Day – immediately follows with huge celebration. The ability to move on, from sorrow to joy: It’s an Israeli thing!
Last but not least: For those making aliyah, you will be welcomed not with the words, “Welcome to Israel”, but with the greeting: “Welcome home!”
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